


Swallow Him Whole

by Lilbug121



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Gen, fuck sazed, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-09-03 07:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8703745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilbug121/pseuds/Lilbug121
Summary: Taako wonders, not for the first time, if Sazed feels any sort of guilt over what he did.





	

Technically, you aren't supposed to feed unsanctioned information to the Voidfish. That's not to say no one ever does it, plenty of people have personal things they'd rather everyone forget about. But it is rare. Few people want it so badly that they're willing to irreversibly mess with things on such a scale.

Taako isn't sure if he's one of them yet. He stares down at the piece of parchment in front of him, pen gripped too-tight in his hand, trying to build up the courage to write. All it would take is three words, and his future would open up again. Sure, he's happy with where he is now, but once all the relics are destroyed he'll have to move on. And who else will have him, with nothing to offer as experience except a load of static.

But if he could cook again...

If he could cook again he wouldn't have anything to worry about. There's always work to be found for a chef. Not great work, generally, but he's used to working too hard and stealing from the kitchen to get by, it's how he grew up. He could go back to that, he thinks, and pretends the thought doesn't leave him feeling cold inside.

But that's the price of moderate fame. When you fuck up-when it _looks_ like you fucked up-word travels. He's lucky he hasn't run into someone with a grudge yet.

Finally, before he can change his mind, Taako quickly writes _"Glamor Springs poisoning"_ on the parchment, small and cramped as if he could hide it from himself. He looks at the words and lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

Trying to clear his mind, Taako plots out the consequences of erasing this memory. He's been thinking about this since returning from Refuge, since he's started trying to cook again in spite of the anxiety. The last thing he wants is some horrible unintended consequence. He just wants a fair shot when he finishes saving the world.

If he feeds this to the Voidfish, everyone forgets. Simple. The friends and loved ones of those poor folks who died will wake up with a new cause of death slipped into their minds. His show would have gone on an extended hiatus and no one will quite remember why. Sazed...

Taako's stomach drops.

Sazed will forget it all. Forget his jealous planning, forget buying arsenic. Forget killing forty where he meant to kill one.

Taako wonders, not for the first time, what Sazed is doing with his life. If he feels guilty for what he's done. He hopes so. Taako can accept, with some difficulty, that Sazed was prepared to feel ok about killing him. But forty people, forty innocent people? Taako wonders if anyone could live with that. Sometimes he can't even handle it, and it wasn't even his doing.

Taako imagines that the guilt swallows Sazed up whole, dark and cold and unforgiving. He imagines that he has anxiety and nightmares to rival his own. He has to, because the idea that he might be out there not giving what he did a second thought is just too much.

With this in mind, Taako crumples the parchment in his fist and lobs it violently towards the waste basket. His decision has suddenly become very easy to make.

He's not absolving that fucker of this, he decides, even if it would make his own life easier. It's not worth it. He'll learn to cook again without feeling sick and scared, learn to enjoy it again and do it without a second thought like before, maybe never again with magic but that's alright. And when the time comes and the relics are all destroyed he'll dye his hair a new color and name himself a new name and find work somewhere where no one remembers Sizzle it Up. And he might not be happy, but he will survive out of spite, and he'll be satisfied knowing he helped save the goddamn world.

And Sazed can wallow in miserable guilt until he dies.


End file.
